Software Upgrade - Not much of an Upgrade

Office 2007??

This piece of software is seriously killing me. Having a work laptop sucks. You don’t have a choice of what to put on the computer or what to NOT put on the computer. Left to me, I would stick with office 2003. Afterall, I have been using it for donkey years and never had an issue with it. But Big Blue had to switch everyone one to office 2007 and since then, my life has not been the same. The simple act of composing in Microsoft word becomes a huge chore when you don’t know where the “insert caption” button is. Everything I need to do, I have to “F1” the information.(deep hiss) I don’t need all this yeye learning curves. All I need is to be able to cook up a document in Word and not rekindle my computer-illiterate years

The Gift of Life

It’s rather funny how we live life without noticing the little things which we take for granted e.g, the idea of Life itself. Being able to wake up in the morning, hugging the people we love most, picking up the phone and calling them up to make arrangements and hearing the soothing sound of their breadths at the other end of the phone. It’s a shame how we do not acknowledge those little things that makes our lives so much more bearable. We are indeed fortunate.

To bring things into perspective, stretch out your left hand before your eyes and observe all five fingers. Look at the length of your fingers. They all vary in length. I look at my left hand as I type this post and wonder why all five fingers are not equal. Could it be that there is a true purpose behind this?. For instance, the varying length of all five fingers makes it so much easier for me to find the entire keys one my keyboard. I doubt if this simple act of typing could have been achieved with as much ease compared to if all five fingers were equal.

You guys are probably wondering where all this is going right? Well, I am a bit unwell right now and have been told to stay away from work (this illness is story for another day). When you are home with so much time on your hands, its amazing the sorts of thoughts which plays through your mind like a home video.

I know of a family friend who recently died in her prime. She was young, mid twenties, had all of her life to live. She was loved dearly, she loved dearly, and she was cherished by many. She was a star and she was shinning at her brightest. But she had been marked from birth with an allergy. This allergy killed her in her prime. I was not a close friend to her however; I am in the same age group as she is. The only difference between us two is that I do not have an allergy (not that I know of anyway) My point is this, that girl could have still been here, with the ones that loved her. But due to some catastrophic fate, she just had to have an allergy! This really angers me! Why did this have to happen to her? Death does not make sense. I have known a lot of people die young, but for some reason, I look at her picture and I feel all the wrong-ness of the situation. She could have grown well beyond all of her parents aspirations; she could have smiled her beautiful smile once again. Her parents could have been spared the hurt of burying an only daughter.

Another story making the rounds in the news today is regarding the late Cameroonian international footballer, MarcViven Foe. He was an international star, great charisma; he was at the top of his game. He was 100% fit as a horse but, he was also marked with a heart defect he didn’t even know anything of. The whole world watched him slump to his death on a football pitch.. He was only 27/28 yrs old. It kind of makes you wonder doesn’t it? Is there something anatomically wrong with you? Something that could be a potential time bomb?

So as a conclusion to this rather depressing post, there are so many things out there that could kill you, ranging from “natural causes” such as an enlarged heart, an allergy or whatever to the “un-natural causes” which include the deranged psycho-killer, the drunk driver driving in the wrong lane or the crazy okada rider who almost ploughs his motor bike into you on the pedestrian pavement!. We cannot sit by and let these things hold us down.

I hope that people with allergies are more aware of the seriousness of their conditions and do more to avoid making contact with things that could kill them. I hope the public becomes more aware of the seriousness of having an allergy and help sufferers in staying away from their allergies. I feel rather ashamed to confess that I have always brushed off people having allergies as being ridiculous and far fetched. I have never known anyone with an allergy and the case I have written about came as a bit of a shock to me.

I hope that people become more aware that the human body is not an indestructible appliance. A single bolt out of place or misaligned can bring it all down. I hope that we can all learn to live our lives to the fullest when we have the opportunity to do so because this life, though precious and sweet, can come to an all too sudden end much sooner than anticipated

Last Post In India

Hey Guys.. I mentioned that I made a post on my last day in India. I am attaching my writings and thoughts below:

Over the last couple of months, I totally lost any type of interest in maintaining this blog. I recognized this as a turning point in my life. I had basically come to accept India for what it is. Mumbai where I am based may not be the best place in the world, but its certainly not the worst. According to an article on CNN, the worst place to live and work in the world is Lagos. Yes my brothers and sisters, our very own Lagos and Mumbai came in at an impressive 5th. I was convinced that if Mumbai was not the top of the list, it would certainly be the second. But I was forced to eat my words people.

Over the last few months, I have done a lot of things in india. I visited New Delhi which is like the Abuja of India. I also went on a suicidal road trip to infamous Goa. The total distance from Mumbai is 550km on what is the most tiniest, zig-zagest, hilliest and most perilous road that I have ever been on in my entire life. We had rented a car and the whole journey took a total of 10hrs. By the time we got to Goa, I had cursed myself on numerous occasions. I was being tight and didn’t want to pay the 20,000 rupees for the return flight. I ended up paying less than 5000 rupees for the entire car trip. The to and fro journey took 24hrs and believe me, the Goa experience is second to none. The drive was the most scenic of my life. I would definitely go again but definitely not by road.

Ahh.. life has been good. I was in Naija for xmas and new year. I came back to India and went on a work related trip to Houston. The experience was nice but I swear to God that the most stupidest thing I have ever done, other than travelling to Goa by road was to choose to go to Houston for work seminar from India (18hrs total trip.. minus transit times) when I could have hopped on a 4hr plane from Mumbai to Abu-Dhabi to do the same course. I was jetlagged for almost one week. Working with 12hrs time difference, it felt like my body was in Houston, but my spirit, kidney, liver and all other vital organs were in Mumbai. Totally awful experience. I would not do it again except there is entirely no other options available.

I came back from Houston to find that I am being transferred back to the UK. The news came as a bit of a shock at first because I was not expecting to go back until Oct 09. They wanted me to go back 6 months early and they wanted me out of the country like yesterday. Everything was so rushed up. I only got the transfer letter 8 days ago and here I am, sitting at the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport, Mumbai, waiting on my Qatar plane to start boarding for the trip back to Manchester. All my belongings in Mumbai were picked up two days ago by the shipping company. Everything has been a blur to be quite honest with you. But with all certainty, I will be arriving in Manchester later today.

I will miss so many things about Mumbai. The cheapness of the place for starters. The ability to just walk into a 5 star hotel or bar and just ENJOY.. hehehe…My friends and other expat co-workers, Dela-Madam. Between Friday and Wednesday, I swear they must have sent me off like 5 different times every single day of the week. I will miss these guys so dearly. Everything did seem a bit artificial to me in the beginning and I knew it would all have to come to an end but I just didn’t expect it to end so soon. Its all this failing world economy. I blame it on the economic downturn. But to be honest with you, I am excited to go back. I will be going to shop for a car. I will start looking for a flat. My gosh.. I am all giddy with excitement.

In all, India for me has been an incredible experience. I will never regret my choice in leaving the comfy-ness of my place in Manchester and embarking on this journey. A lot of people thought I was crazy to do this but it was worth it. There have been tears, laughter, despair, anger, loneliness, fear, joy, contentment and every other emotion that you can think of. I am so very much grateful.

I don’t know if I will be keeping up this blog when I go back to the UK. I am still thinking of it. I will make up my mind depending on what I encounter when I get there.


PS: Someone from work in india discovered my blog and he came up to me asking “You don’t really like India now do you?” I was like.. “Ermm… Ermmm.. “ But what I should have said is that “its my blog.. my expressions.. leave it to me and keep your opinions to your very opinionated self!” hehehe.. lol.. But really, there isn’t anything offensive on this blog is there? As per work related and stuff? If anyone thinks I may be stepping on some sensitive toes, please let me know and I will exercise caution.


Tolantino..

The Proverbial Prodigal Daughter

Goshness…

How does one get to explain such a long absence from THE BLOG? Where do I start from? It is almost impossible to pack into one single post all the experiences, ups and downs, highs and lows and everything else that has happened since.. well since the last post. I have received quiet a few messages from good fellow bloggers asking me to update and my frame of mind was just too far removed from blogging that I could not bring finger to keyboard and pour all my feelings into a page or two of Microsoft word. I guess sitting here in a stuffy cyber café in Lagos; I have found the inspiration which I have not been able to summon for such a long time. That and the fact that I have been having this nagging feeling for that past year or two of wanting to write a book. Yea.. Tolantino writes a book! Waddaya make of that?? Lol.. Its not going to be an autobiography (God No!) I am too young for all that and besides.. I believe there is still more in store for me. I have not arrived yet. I am still on my journey and when I get to my destination, maybe I will write an autobiography!

I know you want to know the latest with me right? Well.. I LEFT INDIA!!! (I am sure a lot of you guys are singing hallelujah choruses on my behalf) I left in March and was transferred back to the office in UK. I remember sitting at the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport in Mumbai on my last day out of India and I made a post for this blog. This was back in March and I had every intention of posting it up here. I just never got around to it. Well, I will be putting it up hopefully sometime soon.
I miss Mumai! Would you believe that? I miss the craziness of the place as well as the frustrations of trying to communicate with the rickshaw drivers or the sales man at the shop or the waiter whom you have asked for a dish with no spice at all and who then returns with a dish swimming in so much spice that you have to abandon the meal. India has made me a more tolerant person. I have seen people being inhuman to each other and I have seen poverty but despite all the squalor, there was contentment. If given the chance, I would do it all over again, shed all those tears again and make the entire discovery all over again. Most of all, I miss the good friends I left behind. I miss the people who helped me to get through it all. I miss the workmate who sat with me as I cried on the helideck and the guy who wrote down Hindi words for me on the back of my diary so that I could communicate with the maid or the market men/women. I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I am done shedding tears for India. I am now in my NOW and I am looking forward to the rest of my life!
Since then, I have house hopped, bought a car called “Sandra”, got a flat of my own (Gosh the responsibilities involved in being the sole occupant of a flat!) and I have started to become a responsible young lady. Hehehehe.. (Not that I was ever irresponsible)
In addition to all this, I now have an office job which at first was so weird. Imagine not wearing ripped jeans and flip flops to work! It was the weirdest thing ever and it had to take some getting used to I tell you. I had to go shop for clean clothes and ditch all the coveralls and hard hats ( I had to clean up real nice o) Lol.

Anyways, This is supposed to be a very short post, notifying this blog of my intentions to resume blogging. Just like the proverbial prodigal son who returned to his fathers home, the prodigal daughter returns to Blogsville. I wonder what tone this blog will take from now onward as there is no more India to rant about but trust Miss Tolantino to come up with something eh?

Just look out for the next post..

Complements of the season… from Lagos

After the terrorists’ attacks in Mumbai, I was sent to the rig shortly after, Discoverer 534 (my most fav rig so far). I went prepared with Xmas cards to give to my most fav people. Funny thing is that most people did not expect this gesture and it was well appreciated. My pastor will say I am sowing seeds.. hehehe.. The job itself was not a very stressful one. Just me and another guy. Very cool dude o. everything was too smooth with enough days as standby. Free money! My oga pulled me out of the rig like say two days before my Naija plane was due to leave Mumbai. I could not make it to Mumbai on the same day so had to spend the night in Rajahmundry.. Kai.. that place is dry sha. A whole Rajahmundry and nothing to do there.. The following day, I had to endure a 4hrs trip to Visakhapatnam aka Vizag to catch the flight leaving from there to Mumbai. I was already having visions of missing the following day’s flight to Lagos. I hadn’t done any kind of shopping and I was going to Naija the following day. The Lord is definitely my strength.

I got to Mumbai late in the evening on Thursday and started putting my things together. Following evening for 7pm, I was on the emirates flight leaving Mumbai for Dubai. I had already scheduled my flight in such a way that I would have a 15hrs layover in Dubai. Emirates had already booked hotel and visa on my behalf. All on the house.. very sweet.

I got to Dubai and first thing I did was call my girl Pink Gloves. Shout out to PG!! You sabi rock my girl. Took a taxi to her place and my girl had enough groove planned for me. From Trader Vicks to some other place that I cannot remember for the life of me. This was after I had sampled her pepper shripme.. that babe can also cook!! PG.. RESPEC o! I did not get back to my hotel room till 3.00am.. just in time to catch a quick nap for check out at 6.30am then straight back to Dubai airport to catch the 9.15am connection to Lagos. That layover is the best connection layover of my life.. hehehe.. enough groove..I shall be laying over more often in Dubai now.

Naija people can pack load sha.. all these market women in Dubai airport with enough cabin baggage that is even more than check in limit. Why now?? Then they will now come and obtain the bin space on top of your seat like say you did not pay for your seat on the plane. Kai.. and then there was the naija man who started to lament at the boarding gate that someone had stolen his passport. Enough drama for my entertainment o.

Na so I enter Lagos.. Lagos Na Wah O! Kai.. From Nepa to Bad Roads to Traffic to everything else.. Lagos is just too Much.. hehehe.. But the things I appreciate about lagos.. The liveliness of the place, the insanity of the place, seeing my family, being able to go to Ibadan for my cousins wedding.. Meeting Pink Gloves a week later in Lagos.. being able to go to saloons anyhow..Grooving on the Island.. anyone heard about 007 bar on the island.. if you never hear.. make you go find am.. and carry enough money with you. Gosh.. enough things that make me home sick for lagos. But I think this lagos is not the kind of place you come to for more than two weeks. Nepa has frustrated me die.. Mosquitoes sef take frustration join. I had a very good xmas. I went to visit family and friends.. everything was jolly.. even the police officers on the road were rather jolly. Greeting me Merry Xmas madam..” wetin you get for us??” (what do you have for us?) It is only in Lagos that the police officers will be greeting you “happy Monday madam” “Happy Tuesday” and Happy everyday of the week.. these guys are hungry!

Lagos and weddings.. people just dey marry anyhow.. even as I dey type.. I got one wedding to go today.. hehehe.. last week Saturday too.. I was at another wedding.. fun fun fun.. Lagos is just too much with all the craziness and all the fun that is there to be had!! If it is not a wedding.. it is a birthday party, if it is not birthday party, it is promotion party, there is sha always one kind of party or the other going on.. I love Lagos for this!

Wishing you all a happy new year in advance!

Terror Attacks in Mumbai: I am okay

My people of blogsville.. I am fine.. Safe and sound. I generally live about 2.5hrs drive from the downtown area of Mumbai where all the attacks happened but I was incidentally having dinner with friends who live not so far from the attack sites. Shey you guys remember I have a new dentist. My dentist is not so far from the sites so I went to visit him on weds and then went on to spend sometime wit my friends who were in the area. Now, there is this Facebook group called Bombay Expats. They usually have an expat night every second weds at a restaurant which is just opposite the Taj Palace Hotel. My friends wanted to go, but because I had to travel back to my apartment and then go to the office the following day, I opted out. My girl Dee also opted out cos she has been having some back ache all week. We decided to settle for dinner and this was where we were having dinner when I got a text alert from my company’s security outfit around 11pm. The msg mentioned that there had been some disturbances in south Mumbai and to stay away from clubs and restaurants. Next thing I know..my older brother is calling me from London.. asking me where I was.. he was telling me that there were shootings and bombings in Mumbai and terrorist activities.. In his 5 mins call, I had received about 3 more text messages from my company and each one more ominous than the last. I was really scared at this time because I had just booked a taxi to take me back home (1 hr journey) I didn’t know where the bullets were coming from and I certainly was scared. One of my friends then came up with the craziest gist of all after she spoke to a co-worker. I kid you not… the gist went thus:

“A nigerian man wielding an AK47 has opened fire on people in the Leopolds restaurant.. so, the Indians in Mumbai are now seeking revenge on all black people in Mumbai” (leopolds was one of the restaurants which was attacked by the terrorists)

I am not joking guys.. hearing this gist.. my life almost flashed before me o.. I was like WTF! Someone give me Hijab I need to cover all of my face in this minute!!!

But then we got to a TV and then we saw the news.. there was no mention of the Nigerian AK47 gunman and to say I was relieved is an understatement. My company closed the offices on Thursday and Friday through to Sunday. Thank God the siege is over. I got so many telephone calls from friends and so many facebook messages from people whom I haven’t even spoken to in a long while. I am really touched.

One of the things I will take with me is how unpredictable this life is and how it could all be over so quickly. The areas of Mumbai which were attacked are places which I usually frequent for Sunday morning bruches whenever I am around. These terrorist could have decided to strike on one fine Sunday morning while me and my friends were munching away on brunch in one of these fine hotels.. I thank God I am safe.. and I also thank God that me and mine are also safe and sound!!

Thanks to you all for your messages…


Love..

Tola

D534-Mumbai-D534-Kakinad

I came back from the rig only to arrive mumbai for my boss to call me early the following morning not to come to work. I was bewildered. How badly did I mess up for him to give me a personal call not to come to work when I haven’t even brushed my mouth so early in the morning? He then went on to mention that there had been reported cases of violence in Mumbai and all foreigners were advised to stay at home. Man! I was so elated! Just imagine.. free day off?? All because of why? Some politician named Raj Thackery had been mongering hate amongst the locals asking them to chase immigrants out of Maharastra state (for those who don’t know, Mumbai is a city and it is in Maharastra state as well as some other big cities like Pune) Tcheiw, come as see these jobless people burning toll booths and taxis early morning news. They can hardly feed themselves and come and see them throwing stones and being destructive. Anyways, me I no send anyone.. I took the day off and went to my local beauty parlor. I had a full body massage. It was total heaven. I even went comatose while the masseuse was doing her magic. It was the sound of me snoring that woke me up.. hehehe.. yea.. I hear myself snore.

Fast forward to the weekend. On Saturday I went to check out a new dentist. Did I mention that the last dentist I was with was starting to experiment with my mouth? I just generally had a bad feeling about this guy. So I took the train from Thane to a place called Dardar (yess o.. I am now bonafide Mumbai babe). Some chick on some Bombay expat group had recommended her dentist so I decided to go check him out. First thing Mr.Fancy New Dentist asked me for were the X-rays taken by the last dentist. Me I was like “err.. sorry Mr. Fancy.. I don’t have no X-rays” Mr. Fancy could not believe that the past dentist did not take x-rays before sticking braces in my mouth. I left his office feeling as though I was lucky to still have my teeth attached to my gums. Hehehe.. really.. this is not a funny matter o. I have now officially switched to Mr. Fancy. I will be commencing treatment in the next month or so.

Before I could say “Tolantino is back in Mumbai” My boss had sent me on another mission to Discoverer-534. I was working with Iti again and some other cool Indian guy. Really, I did have fun. The job was very short. I was there for six days and I probably only slept on 4 occasions for no more than 6hrs. It was work work work.. cool thing is that the guys working on the rig were also still very cool people. Very fun. They even used to pass me and Iti candies every now and again.. hehehe..The joys of being a woman on a testosterone filled offshore rig! I love D534 and I wanna go again!

Here you can see the rig floor in the background. This is where the drilling operations take place :-)

Last day on D534.. bone deep tired but still manage a smile :-D

I love this pic. (You can see fishermen from local villages who swamp our ship every evening in search of big fishes. there was a night we counted ab0ut 50 of them. The client then hired a small patrol boat to chase these fishermen from fishing close to the ship and disrupting operations.. you can see them advancing from the horizon. Make me feel as though we are being invaded!)

As soon as the job was done, we were already on a chopper back to Rajamundry. My boss sent us straight to Kakinada! Yikes.. You all know how much love I got for Kakinada. I came here with great trepidation/dread. From my own experiences, they only send you to kakinada when they wanna screw you over! I’ve been here twice in the past and they all had stories/experiences attached with them. I have blogged all about it.

So, on reaching Kakinada two days ago, I was put up in one of the company staff houses. Great thing about this place is that there are maids who wait on your 24/7 needs. Always at your beck and call.. hehehe and my room has mosquito nets so I am very well protected. This time around, I can actually say that I have been having fun in Kakinada. It is mighty strange though but seems like the angels are on my side this time around (not that they weren’t in the past) My second night here we went to Kakinada beach.

Lovely KKD Beach

Lovely KKD Sunset

It was so blue and non polluted. I really loved it. One of the managers here was being transferred to Turkmenistan so we all went to his place in the evening and had drinks over masala snacks.. my tongue was so numb from the alcohol that I did not feel the spiciness of the situation..hehehe.. it was really good fun hanging out with this guys.. seems like the kakinada folks are more friendly than the Mumbai office people. Nothing spoil sha. All this was last night. I didn’t even know I was intoxicated until I got up to leave and my head did like 20 back flips in 10 seconds.. hehehe.. I had totally arrived..

The guys in the KKD base had put up a volley ball net in front of our office so they invited me to come play. Your girl has never stood on a volley ball court ever but I am never one to turn down a challenge. It was us against drivers and security guards and technicians.. everyone was on on the Volley ball court. What was weird was that the guys were teaching me how to serve and they were going like “mam.. this is how to hold the ball..” I thought that was hilarious. Here is me, playing volley ball with the driver who will drive me home and he’s also teaching me how to make a volley! I totally loved it.

Armature volley ball player

RUN Tola.. RUN!!

So just before I went home, I bumped into this Gabonese guy whom I had seen in the Mumbai office. He works in KKD and has his wife and kid with him. He has invited me to come to meet his family on Sunday so I am looking forward to it. I pray my boss is not going to come up with some messed up job for me to do on Sunday o! Make una help me pray abeg!

So many many things have happened to me since my last post. One of my blog readers Engr. Nemo was going to be moving to India for work. She arrived and since we got chatting, we realized that we both live on the same road in FESTAC town. My lil brother used to roll with her older brother back in the days and there was a time I went to borrow movies from her in her house. If you don’t believe that we live in a small world.. this is proof. I cant wait to return to Mumabi and meet her

And my word OBAMA won the elections. I am not one to meddle with American politics but this is history in my time. The first black man to rule America…. I am glad I witnessed it. Though I must say that there was no way the guy wasn’t going to win after all the numbers that turned out to vote for him His African supporters who were not eligible to vote must have done their respective voodoo in his favo.Poor senator Mccain didn’t stand a chance..hehehe.. just kidding.
This is it my people. My blog is now up to date with the major events. I hope to catch up again very soon.. xoxo..

Tolantino…